Pop Ice Therapy

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August 9, 2010 by type1vegan

There probably isn’t one single secret to world peace, but if there is such a thing, I suspect it is Pop Ice.

Pop Ice is the most common brand in my life, but I know most people call all the brands “ice pops” or “freezey pops.”  You can buy them in K-Mart or in a grocery store in large, unfrozen boxes of 100.  Put them in the freezer, and you have a vegan dessert treat with no effort that stays good forever and ever.

Pop Ice is nothing but flavored sugar-water.  They’re fun to eat, so inexpensive that they’re pretty much disposable, and great on a hot summer day.  There’s nothing healthful about them — they’re really devoid of nutrients — but at least they’re fat free.  The best thing about Pop Ice, though, is that they’re an invaluable tool in conflict resolution.

One time, outside my window where I live in North Phoenixville, which is widely known as the “worst” corner in the Borough, a girl started fighting with another girl and her boyfriend.  I could hear it so I went and watched from my window.  It sounded like the angry girl used to go out with the guy, and she was pretty well freaking out at his new girlfriend.  I can’t say whether she was justified or not, but I can say that she was in a blind rage.  Her blood was flowing, and it was hot out.  I always think fights are worse in the heat.

Of course, the police showed up.  Folks were being very loud.  The angry girl’s friends saw and, while the police spoke with the two-timing boyfriend, her friends tried to calm her down before it was obvious to the police who was causing the ruckus.  “Calm down, just calm down!” they were saying.  “I CAN’T!” she yelled, “I CAN’T calm down when I get like this!”  The more they tried to calm her down, the more it upset her.

Now, if her friends had been smart, what they would have done was go inside to the freezer and get out a couple Pop Ice and some scissors to cut them open (god forbid you should forget some scissors, because trying to gnaw it open is bound to cause a brand new tizzy).  Telling a girl who is upset like that to calm down is just ineffective.  She’s got to be distracted.  So you come outside and you say, “Want a Pop Ice?  I’ve got green, red, and blue, which would you like?  Don’t you just love these?  I always used to eat them when I was a kid.” I don’t think anyone can keep fighting while suckling on a cold, colorful, sugary treat.  But instead, the girl ended up yelling about the new girlfriend to the police officer, who, to his credit, let her yell about what terrible people they were and then told her she should probably go inside for now.

Since that time, I always keep Pop Ice in my freezer, just in case.

Anyone starts anything, I’m whipping these out.  Don’t worry, you get your choice of colors.


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